Not getting our hopes up...

Ever since learning that we would not get the beautiful twin boys from Shangrao, life has been rather...difficult. It was rough news to take, especially after picturing them completing our family for the past 5+ months. We've tried to adapt. It's been more difficult on me than Michael.

It wasn't long after that our agency added files to their waiting child list. I reviewed the files in detail and identified a child that we were very interested in. Of course, we needed to get all of her files over to our Doctor for review before making the commitment to lock her file. Once we lock a file in, we have only 48 hours to get all of our necessary paperwork completed and submitted. It's not a lot of time when you need to have medical professionals look things over.

We were so disappointed when the report came back from our Doctor that this child may need some additional surgery that would be "very tough" and that she may lose some mobility because of it (she had meningocele). Her condition is related to Spina Bifida and our Doctor shared with us that it would have been ideal for her to have had surgery when she was an infant (it's much harder when they get older) - - this child was about 3.5 years old. It was another difficult decision to make, but based on all of our research and the available medical reports on her as well as the advice from our Doctor - - we decided to pass. Even our Doctor told us that if he were in our shoes, he would pass (that said a LOT). There are so many beautiful children out there that are in need of a forever family - - I wish that I was infinitely rich so that I could help them all!

I've been trying to disconnect myself lately. I'm having faith that God has the right child in mind for us - - a child that will bring us joy, laughter and happiness. I hope, with all my heart, that he hears our prayers. Amen.